Prompt Queen.

The rules are simple: say what you see. Welcome back to another episode of Catchphrase, I’m Stephen Mulhern. Hang on, no I’m not. I’ve never even seen a sunbed. Where did the live studio audience go? And who took my trousers? Doctor Applebaum, why are you on fire?

Apologies, I was having one of my episodes there. The trousers are back on and the doctor has been extinguished. For now. In other news, Google have launched an AI game to help us reluctant Luddites learn the art of image prompting. All you have to do is… say what you see. Shit, I think those might be my trigger words. I’m starting to feel a bit arsony again.

Whether we like it or not, AI is here to stay, and being able to provide perfectly crafted prompts is now a necessary tool to add to any creative’s arsenal. Fortunately you’ll receive helpful tips on how to improve your prompt as you pass through each level of the game. Apparently. I gave up almost immediately. Pen and paper exclusively.

Robin van Perspirant.

Speaking of Arsenal, this new kit has the faintest whiff of familiarity about it. I’m getting hints of… sweaty teenage boys. To be completely clear, I only know what sweaty teenage boys smell like because I used to be one. Consequently, I’m all too familiar with the post-PE Lynx bath when everyone was too scared to have a shower.

Clearly someone at adidas shares these cherished childhood memories/traumas, because the new Arsenal away kit bears a striking resemblance to the unwanted Lynx Africa gift set your aunt gets you for Christmas each year. And you know who else noticed the likeness? Lynx.

With cat-like reflexes, Lynx responded with this video celebrating the ‘multi-million-quid coincidence’. Result. Now Arsenal can look and smell extra fresh this season whilst not winning the league again.

Bottle Jobs.

From plastic fans to plastic, how pleasingly sequential this week’s coolsh*t is inadvertently becoming.

You can have too much of a good thing. Bananas are healthy, but not if you eat a thousand of them in an afternoon. And plastic is perhaps the best proof of the accuracy of this apothegm. It’s great, but not if everything is made from it and ends up getting lobbed in landfill or clogging up the oceans. But that doesn’t mean plastic itself is inherently bad. It means we are.

Adedolapo Boluwatife released his new environmental photography series this week, offering a striking perspective on plastic pollution. And isn’t it lovely? I immediately feel inspired to dump my green bin directly into the Thames if it can lead to such beautiful art. I fear I may have misinterpreted the message.

Grand Theft Arto.

This is a trend we didn’t see coming. No, it’s not dancing on TikTok. It’s robbing shit from the British Museum.

Ilê Sartuzi became the latest heroic vigilante to yoink some swag from the museum, having trousered a coin minted in 1665. But this isn’t theft, it’s art. What’s the difference? Well… err… it’s art because he said it was and made a video. It appears that declaring something a piece of performance art is the equivalent of a ‘pinch, punch, no returns’ when it comes to theft. It’s the perfect crime. Excuse me, not crime.

A lot of people might find it hard to feel too sorry for the British Museum considering their reputation as global plunderers of ill-gotten goods. However, I went to an exhibition about life in the Roman legions recently and it couldn’t have been more budget. Imagine how shit it would have been if the museum were forced to return those precious Benin bronzes? And you’re not having the Elgin marbles back so just stop asking. They’re ours. We nicked them fair and square.

Swedish House Nursery.

Remember those halcyon days before Fred Again was a thing? Now he’s everywhere. You open the toilet seat and he’s in there tapping away at his little electronic keyboard thing. That must be how got his name: because you just keep hearing his songs… again… and again… and again. Please leavemealone, I’ve places to be.

With almost every living creature having been exposed to Mr. Again by this point, his listenership may plateau unless he’s able to galvanise some new fans. Say no more. A Swedish house music festival will be broadcasting his music live and direct to an audience of unfertilised sperm and eggs at Eliva IVF clinic in Stockholm.

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, this stunt is supposed to draw attention to declining birthrates, which is a wholly worthwhile cause (and anyone who tells you otherwise is a monster who hates human life). On the other hand, is it really worth boosting the birth rate if all of those new humans are going to be Fred Again fans?

French Connection.

We couldn’t finish this week’s coolsh*t without talking about the Olympics. No, really – I desperately wanted to and was told I wasn’t allowed. Because nothing says ‘cool’ like strapping on some Lycra and running about a bit. Zeitgesit, shitegeist.

So, where do we want to start? Mongolia’s viral uniforms? These smart mittens designed to keep athletes’ hands cool? Snoop Dogg having been revealed as one of the torchbearers? Hopefully he doesn’t try to smoke it. But since the Olympics will be kicking off in Paris this weekend, we wanted something more authentically French. So it was either this Jacquemus campaign or freshly-calcified political polarisation. In the interest of brevity, we opted for the former.

The French fashion house launched their FW24 collection in collaboration with Nike this week by bringing together some big names and faces from fashion, sport and French culture to showcase all that Paris has to offer. What remarkable unity with such an eclectic cast. The French parliament could learn a thing or deux from this ad. Oh look at that, we managed to make it about both. Bien for us.