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Volume 487

This summer bees are getting drunk on six packs of nectar, Google wants you to munch on rocks, and bankers with chainsaws are here to reap the rewards of their money trees. Don’t they know mankind - uh, I mean humankind... - is dependent on trees? If you feel like running away from all this madness, that’s fine, just remember to log it on Strava…

Jog On.

Did your run even happen if you didn’t log it on Strava? For many young people, sharing their runs with people who don’t give a shit might be the only thing making those fleeting moments of physical exertion worth it.  

Tapping into this obsession, Craft Sportswear have created a dynamic logo that changes based on your Strava run data. This cool new feature offers a fresh way to visualise and share your activity, while also promoting Craft Sportswear’s social runs. 

The running boom is undeniable with everyone and their dog jogging in the Hackney half a couple weeks ago. Marathon applications and run club participation are at all-time highs. Maybe it’s because it’s the only exercise we can afford in this current cost of living crisis. Keeps you warm, too. But it does beg the question, what are we all running from?  

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AI Rocks!

How many rocks should I eat a day, Google? Google’s new AI feature is facing criticism for providing erratic and inaccurate answers. The experimental tool “AI overview” has told people that eating precisely one rock a day is advised. A rock a day keeps the doctors away, apparently.  

Another gem of advice is to put non-toxic glue in your pizza to stop the cheese from sliding off. These bizarre responses have been traced back to Reddit posts which have been used to train the AI tool. A friendly reminder to not trust everything you read on the internet, and least of all on Reddit.  

Google insists that their tool is generally working well and that these are isolated instances. However, the consequences of following some of this advice is concerning. It sort of reminds me of when Trump suggested injecting disinfectant during COVID, which later led to a spike in poisonings across the US. If there’s someone out there prepared to eat a rock just because Google told them to, I’d be disappointed but oddly not surprised.  

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Baby’s Got Your Back(side).

In the age of fully conscious babies, I think the prostate baby really takes the cake. Prostate Cancer UK’s new ad features a talking baby urging men to get their prostate checked. And I’ll be honest, the talking baby is a bit creepy and gives a real uncanny valley effect, but she’s giving important advice, so we’ll allow it.  

The baby has a word with her future grandad and urges him to get his prostate checked or else he might never meet her, tapping into a very real desire older people have to stay alive long enough to see their grandchildren grow up. 

The statistics are compelling, with the risk of dying from the disease decreasing significantly with an early diagnosis and, as the baby reminds us, black men are 50% more likely to get a diagnosis compared to the rest of the population. So, men, go get checked. And don’t worry, you can choose to get a blood test – you don’t have to get a finger up there if you’re not into that. Your grandkids will thank you for it. 

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Bumble Beers.

Lidl is wishing the bees a very happy World Bee Day with their new 6-pack of ‘bee-rs’. Each of the cute 2cm tall bottles is filled with sweet bee nectar. This will give tired bees a buzz and help them beat the heat—assuming we get any heat this summer. As part of the campaign, Lidl will also be donating £10,000 to the BBC- the British Bee Charity that is, of course.  

Sadly, these charming ‘bee-rs’ aren’t available for purchase. If you were quick enough to enter the raffle for them, then good luck! If you weren’t and you’re desperate to feed a bee some sugar water, no one is going to stop you, and as we know, we need these little guys. Bee numbers are in sharp decline, and in some countries, they’ve already turned to human pollinators. There’s a job AI probably won’t take from you. 

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Havas Lynx has created a new typeface that corrects gender loaded terms into gender neutral ones as you type. With this new tool, ‘landlord’ becomes ‘landowner’, ‘policeman’ becomes ‘police officer’ and ‘air hostess’ become ‘flight attendant’. No more ‘mother nature’ anymore either… just ‘nature’. I think that one’s a bit of a shame and removes a poetic touch.  

Alas, by removing gendered terms SansGender raises awareness about the unconscious biases present in everyday communication. The typeface makes inclusive writing effortless. Although I have a feeling if you’re going out of your way to download a gender-neutral typeface, you’re probably mindful of such issues anyway.  

Maybe it’s a good idea to download it on your elderly relatives’ laptops (or PCs, probably) and see if they notice. Gramps tries to send you an email, “To my dear grandchild… grandchild… f*** sake, why can’t I just write grandson?” 

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We’re all a bit numb to the typical charity ads with distressing imagery and guilt-tripping voiceovers. Greenpeace have strayed refreshingly from this norm with their punchy new ad ‘Money Trees’. This time, the spotlight is on unregulated banks and passive governments—not us individuals. 

In this music video ad, you’ll see suited bankers in a manic frenzy, chopping down trees and setting a forest ablaze while government officials look the other way. For these bankers, money literally grows on trees, and destroying forests for profit is their favourite thing. Apparently, no trees were actually harmed in the making of the ad. 

The anarchic humour is entertaining but also helps drive home their very serious message. I’ll have the song stuck in my head for a while too… ‘money trees, money, money, money trees’… kind of a bop. 

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