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Volume 390

Sore head? No problem. This week’s coolsh*t will help you make hangovers a thing of the past. We’re also bringing you the latest study in memology, good boys in Gucci, and our new White Paper: Welcome to the Next Gen Economy.

It's a Myrkl.

Science skepticism appears to be at an all-time high. Well, perhaps not all-time, since no scientists are currently getting burnt at the stake for witchcraft, but there are certainly an awful lot of people who have suddenly become very opinionated on matters of science and medicine that they in all likelihood know very little about. This is predominantly a product of the more general polarisation of the last decade or so, as we’ve also seen a different group of loons taking a Newtonian lurch in the other direction, suddenly becoming enamoured with all things big pharma. Weird times. However, we’ve stumbled upon some scientific progress that everybody can get behind. Very soon, we may no longer need to contend with those dreaded Sundays of stupor and somnolence that follow the Bacchic joy of a Saturday night. Introducing Myrkl, a new hangover-prevention pill. There have been hangover pills in the past, but the difference with this one is that it supposedly actually works. It’s been found to successfully break down 70% of alcohol in the body after just 60 minutes, preventing those nasty headaches the next day. And just for £1 a pill. What could possibly go wrong?*

*Disclaimer: if you do take Myrkl and happen to have any nasty side effects, we are in no way endorsing it as a product and as such cannot be held accountable. Maybe you shouldn’t trust all the medical advice you read online.

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World's Funniest Joke?

More science. This week, the ‘funniest joke ever’ has been revealed – by science. And no, it isn’t Man United’s title aspirations. Bit of footy banter there for all the massive lads. Dr. Richard Wiseman, a psychologist, has put his PhD to good use by researching the world’s funniest jokes. He set up the study through a website called LaughLab, where, over the course of a year, he invited 1.5 million people across the world to rate five randomly selected jokes out of a database of over 40,000. So, here’s the winner: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”. Not bad, to be fair. But, in the interest of science, I wrote a joke of my own and told both to see which got a bigger laugh in the office: I tried to go see the new Elvis film last night, but I’m dyslexic so accidentally bought a pair of jeans. Just going off decibelage alone, mine won. Science debunked.

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One Holiday Closer to Death.

Certain ad campaigns can give you serious pause and stop you in your tracks. None more so than those that provide a crushing reminder of the shadows of death creeping ever closer, like ants drawn to a fallen fig. Admittedly, that’s quite a niche angle for a brand to go for. Although, having written that last sentence, I’m now thinking that reminders of mortality may actually be a strategy that is used quite a bit in travel campaigns. For example, Expedia’s latest ad features Obi-Wan Kenobi ruminating the following dilemma: “Do you think any of us will look back at our lives and regret the things we didn’t buy…or the places we didn’t go?”. Plum Guide’s new billboards take a similar ‘YOLO’ approach but with more of a smack in the face, doing so by showing you exactly how many holidays the average person of your age has remaining before they kick the bucket (and spade). This is then rounded off by the tagline ‘No time for average stays’, underscoring the necessity to not f*ck up your holiday by, say, choosing a dodgy hotel, booking poxy activities, or getting pissed the night before a flight and losing your passport. All just hypotheticals, of course.

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As we’ve just said, some campaigns give you serious pause for thought. Others give you serious paws for thought. Sorry, it was right there. I don’t even particularly care about this story, I just liked that pun and thought ‘Pucci’ was pretty clever. Really putting the ‘haha’ in Chihuahua with this one. A recent survey conducted by Mars stated that consumers were far likely to engage with a brand that featured cute animals in their content – and Gucci’s new campaign certainly seems to support that finding. On an intellectual level, it’s easy to consider the act of dressing up one’s pets to be a strange pastime and to feel inclined to avoid any oddballs with such a proclivity. But on a much more elemental and important level, just look at these adorable little bastards. Gucci have enlisted the help of some hairy models for the new Gucci Pet Collection, which features a miniature geometric G dog sofa, a Radura print feeding mat, a tiny mohair wool hat in the shape of a strawberry, and a load of other things that should be appalling but are nothing other than utterly heart-warming. Damn you, Gucci. I feel like I’ve fallen for it. This must be how those soldiers in Shrek felt when they thought Puss-in-Boots was just an adorable kitten but actually turned out to be Antonio Banderas. Luckily, I can’t afford to buy anything from Gucci anyway. So who’s the real winner?

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A Hairy Situation.

Have you ever wondered what happens to your hair after it gets swept up from the barbershop/hairdresser’s floor? Of course not, because you’re not a psychopath. A sure-fire way to get yourself removed from any decent barber’s mailing list is to ask him in a hushed tone, “Oi mate, where d’you keep all the old hair?”. However, it turns out your discarded hair could be used to clean up oil spills. Adele Williams is a hairdresser from Pembrokeshire who has been feeding the hair of her clients into a machine in the back of her salon. This mysterious machine then, somehow, weaves the hair into mats that just so happen to be incredibly effective at picking up oil from water. There’s a certain poetry in the cyclical nature of this: we spend so much of our lives trying to prevent our hair from becoming too oily, and then after we bid farewell to our fallen locks, they can be put to use by attracting that very thing we had previously been seeking to repel. It brings a tear to the eye. Although I do sincerely hope she asks her customer’s permission for all of this. It would be a harrowing experience to leave the salon, realise you’d forgotten your keys, and return to find your hairdresser feeding your old hair into an unidentifiable contraption, like some sort of hairier Little Shop of Horrors.

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Welcome to the Next Gen Economy.

In case you missed it, we have just released our latest White Paper: Welcome to the Next Gen Economy.

Ever wondered why young people aren’t buying new stuff, why they hate your rainbow icon in pride month, and why the future belongs to micro influencers?

Brands require a radical shift in how they approach and engage young people. We explain why, and more importantly, how. It’s free to download. What are you waiting for?

Read the Report