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Volume 383

Guinness, popcorn, burritos. That sounds like a step-by-step guide to a night at the cinema gone awry, but it’s actually the contents of this week’s coolsh*t. All that, and much, much more – plus, the latest episode of the coolsh*t podcast.

Grab the Popcorn.

Well, well, well. Another trial. Haven’t we been spoiled of late? Saying that, the Depp x Heard dealings can be rather sobering at times. But you know what isn’t sobering? A couple WAGs at war over Instagram accusations. Of course, I’m referring to the ongoing Wagatha Christie saga between Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy. However, this is not The Sun; we’re not here to gossip about the current ongoing Wagatha Christie trial. What we will gossip about, however, is some of the clever marketing that has emerged from it – the best-in-court example of which is this effort from Butterkist. The campaign shows real courtroom drawings but with the addition of Butterkist popcorn, thus reflecting the overwhelming voyeurism of the media and the great British public towards the trial and perhaps to tabloid culture more broadly. To be able to use such a talked-about cultural moment and attach one’s brand to it in a manner that feels sharp, relevant and smart is the marketing equivalent of striking gold. Respect.

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That's a Wrap.

To fully explain how this made it into coolsh*t this week, we’re going to have to fiddle around with the timeline a touch. Just think of this as the most boring Quentin Tarantino film you’ve ever seen. Picture it: Last Thursday morning, a young man paces around a London office debating whether a machine that collects burrito spillage and forms it into a secondary taco is worthy of the coolsh*t newsletter. Suddenly, a hawk smashes through a nearby window and carries away a strategist. Admittedly, that hawk stuff didn’t happen, but I could tell I was losing the audience. Returning to the subject matter at hand, we decided that the burrito detritus collection system was slightly solving a problem that didn’t exist – which, in fairness, was the goal of its inventor. This, however, is different. A group of engineering students have invented edible tape for burritos. Now you can stuff your wrap full of all the frijoles your heart desires without living in fear of a lap-full of food. Thomas Edison, eat your heart out. Then eat a taped-up burrito.

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Suds Up.

Summer’s here, that means sun. Sun means beer gardens. Beer gardens mean beer. Beer in a beer garden means… Guinness? It was all going so well until the end there, but truthfully a Guinness is just about the last pint you’d be likely to opt for on a hot summer’s day. More of a frozen daiquiri man myself, as it goes. However, there are few pints more iconic than a Guinness. With that in mind, the brand has attempted to leverage that icon status to get more people sucking down the brown this summer, by showing inherently summery scenes that have been slightly fiddled with in order to resemble a pint of Guinness. There’s not too much to say about this, it’s just an incredibly clean execution of a neat idea. Whether or not it’ll be enough to convince imbibers to forgo the Kopparberg is still yet to be seen…

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Ku Kucks Klan.

Niko Omilana is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. If you’re not familiar with his work, allow me to edify you. He is one of the greatest trolls alive. And when I say troll, I’m not referring to a faceless egg sounding off on Twitter – I mean it in an entirely complimentary, Andy Kaufman-esque way. Past videos have seen Niko go to EDL rallies to rinse people to their faces, as well as possibly my favourite of any of his various ventures: running for Mayor of London in 2021 on a platform of “vibes” and ranking as the highest independent candidate, well ahead of the likes of Laurence Fox and Piers Corbyn. This week, he dropped a new video in which he travelled to Harrison, Arkansas, which had been labelled ‘America’s most racist town’. However, the video shows Niko being treated incredibly well by some more hospitable Harrisonians, and he makes a real point of not tarring everyone with the same brush. Then, just by claiming to be with the BBC (which he gives a slightly different meaning to), Niko managed to secure an interview with Thomas Robb, the current leader of the Ku Klux Klan. And, naturally, Niko mercilessly trolls the bloke to his oblivious little face and gets him to say a few things he might regret a trifle when he sees them back. We’ve attached the full video above, but it’s 30 minutes long, the highlights of the interview can be seen on Twitter here.

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In the words of Liam Gallagher: there are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t speak Spanish. Duolingo are attempting to remedy that, and their marketing team deserve a pat on the back. This is the second time in just a matter of weeks that they’ve managed to wheedle their way into coolsh*t – which is the highest honour that can be bestowed upon any marketer, obvs. To help their ever-expanding legion of students sharpen their skills, the eLearning app have decided to open a café. Or as they say in Spanish, a ‘café’. Languages are piss, mate. The café will encourage customers to speak Spanish on the premises and are offering incentives such as discounts up to 20% for ordering in Español. Considering they’re a digital-based app, Duolingo are particularly good at bring their marketing and PR into the all-too-real world. Plus this offers a tacit recognition of the limitations of their own platform, as they are being fairly candid that supplementing their lessons with getting out there and talking to other humanoids is only going to help you learn the language. In case you were wondering, the café will be a “tight takeout menu inspired by Mexico City tacos”. I certainly hope they’ve stocked up on Burrito Tape.

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We don’t often use coolsh*t to plug our own shit, but we figured we could get away with it in this instance because people of culture typically love the FA Cup. Well, maybe not so much Chelsea fans at the minute, but they’re just still mourning. Plus I said people of culture. Over the last few months, we’ve been working with Mitre to bring their ‘Different League’ campaign to life. Perhaps the focal point of which has been our coverage of the FA Cup, for which we sent photographers up and down the country to capture real football and real football people. That particular element of #DifferentLeague reached its glorious crescendo this weekend just gone, as we spent (pretty much) 2 full days hanging around Wembley for both the men’s final and the women’s the next day. Plus we laid on some free pie and pints for good measure. Here is just a tiny selection of the content we created, but we would urge you to click the link below to head over to Mitre’s Instagram to see the full collection.

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The Coolsh*t Podcast - Ep. 12.

Wagatha Christie chat and some dabbling with the occult in this week’s coolsh*t podcast.

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