So Bourgeois.

We’ve had a bit of a debate over whether this should qualify as coolsh*t or not. Internet sensation, Francis Bourgeois, took a brief break from giggling at cabooses to become the face of the new Gucci x The North Face collection. On the surface, it’s hard to see what could possibly be wrong with that. And, really, there isn’t. But it does have the slight tinge of opportunism when a couple monster brands arguably attempt to ride the coattails of something as pure as the unadulterated, train-based joy of this lovable oddball. However, Gucci are gonna Gucci – and they’ve got previous for leaning on some unlikely ambassadors (remember Gerald ‘The Veg King’ Stratford last year?). Plus, The North Face can do very little wrong. And why shouldn’t Mr. Bourgeois be allowed to secure that bread? So, overall, we’re going to place this firmly in the category of coolsh*t. Although he is impossibly posh, so perhaps they ought to find a Keith Proletariat for the next drop.

The Root of All Evil.

Unless you’re a university student who lives off of ready meals, takeaways and lager, chances are you encounter the occasional onion. Don’t get me wrong, onions are great. They’re a pretty versatile vegetable – whatever that means. But they make you cry more than the scene when Mufasa dies in The Lion King. In truth, I did have to Google ‘film scenes that make you cry’ like a sociopath, but you take my point – cutting onions can be pretty painful. But cry no more, you precious little thing, as tearless onions are coming to the UK. Perfected over the last 30 years, the ‘Sunions’ were developed by breeding an array of varieties of onions, and now they’re here. Although they are being sold exclusively in Waitrose, which is so frightfully expensive that you’ll have a whole new reason to cry if you try to shop there.

Cosmic Ordering.

Typically, if you’re the type of person who has motivational quotes on your wall, y’terrible. Or, y’Noel Edmunds. Neither of which are acceptable manners of being in this day and age. But maybe I’m just an old cynic – and I’m not even old, so there’s no excuse. If motivational quotes work for you, go wild. Part of the reasoning behind my sudden volte-face is due to Twitter’s recent billboard campaign, in which they plastered some celebrity faces around the US along with one of their tweets that in some way prophesised their later success. So maybe self-belief is worth it, after all. And the campaign is part of a charitable endeavour in which Twitter will donate $1 million to non-profits on behalf of the celebrities, so I’m not sure I feel comfortable saying anything bad about it. But if anyone uses the word ‘manifest’ I am out.

Cleaning Up.

As a species, we seem to have quite the unfortunate penchant for littering. Whether it’s a McDonald’s bag out a car window, a sofa on a street corner, or a fag end flicked at a passing seagull, people are constantly leaving their sh*t in places where it doesn’t belong. But apparently this problem isn’t limited to our Earthly shores, as there’s now a colossal amount of space junk floating about. Omega, as in the watch brand, have launched a new mission to do something about that. They’ve joined forces with ClearSpace, a Swiss start-up that has a $100M USD contract with the European Space Agency, and together they will undertake their first mission to remove dangerous space debris from orbit in 2025. Terrific, but who’s going to do something about the bin bags set on fire next to my house?

Taking Off.

What is it about flying cars that continue to fascinate us? And perhaps more importantly, why are we still not able to nail them? Maybe that’s the thing: it’s to our eternal shame that amongst all of the technology we now have that would have been unfathomable a couple decades ago, the flying car is a long-standing symbol of technological advancement that we just haven’t been able to get off the ground – literally. However, Swedish start up Jetson is trying to fix that with this new creation. And the main selling point appears to be that you can drive it without having a pilot’s licence. Perhaps I’m old school, but I’m kind of ok with people having to have some sort of licence in order to be able to fly around. Most people can barely drive, and very few people can fly, so the prospect of having any nutter behind the wheel of one of these is slightly terrifying. And I reckon you’d be best off letting them work out the kinks before signing up to the waiting list. Still pretty cool though. Just watch your head next time you’re in a woods.

Out of Line.

Led by Donkeys have produced some truly excellent stuff over the last few years, but this might be their finest work to date. In the interest of candour: I’ve never seen an episode of Line of Duty, so the people featured in this video mean next to nothing to me, but I still enjoyed it, so I imagine it must have been even better if you’ve actually seen the show. The video features a photoshopped Boris Johnson being grilled on Partygate by the police force’s anti-corruption unit. I reckon that would probably be slightly more intimidating than fielding questions by people bound by entrenched tradition to refer to you as ‘The Honourable Gentleman’. And that excruciating bit of irony is where we’ll leave you this week. Have an un-corrupt weekend. Don’t go to too many work events.