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Volume 288

In this week’s coolsh*t, we bring you Kanye’s latest catalogue of coolsh*t, some creepy drag, and the ideal place for swingers. Plus our latest Next Gen insight report has just been released, check it out at the end.

Kanye Believe it?

Kanye West really is the Brexit of musicians, hailed as a visionary genius by some and an utter vacuous representation of everything that’s wrong with the world, by others. But if you’re a fan of creativity, chances are you’re a fan of Kanye. At least when he’s not wearing his MAGA hat. And he’s had a very busy week. So busy in fact that this probably could have been an entirely Kanye-devoted coolsh*t. He released a new song with Travis Scott, teased a new album and animated series with Kid Cudi, met up with Elon Musk to send the internet into overdrive, became the husband to a billionaire (debatably) and celebrated with some fresh produce, and announced a revolutionary 10-year clothing line partnership with GAP (for which he then also released an 18-year-old music video that shows him working at a GAP store). Jeez, and I couldn’t even be bothered to make breakfast this morning. And yet none of these made the cut. Instead, we’re looking at the new redesign of the Yeezy website – which sounds really dull in comparison, and that’s exactly why this is so impressive. Kanye has been working with Nick Knight on the new site to revolutionise the eCommerce online shopping experience, making it far more immersive by e.g. featuring real people as models who will try outfits on for you. There’s quite a lot more to it so I won’t try to explain it all (not because I’m lazy – because I’m thick and it confuses me a bit), but thankfully Nick Knight has posted this video which makes a bit more sense of it all (sort of).

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“Bidet, sir. I Said Bidet!”

Nah. Nah, I’m not having this. This must be some sort of sick joke. I know most Europeans are fervent defenders of the bidet, but this is taking the p*ss – and as 6-year-old me painfully learned in Portugal, that’s not how you’re supposed to use a bidet. To be fair, I imagine this also doubles up as a form of portable birth control – because nobody’s going anywhere near the bloke with a portable arse appliance in his pocket. Can picture it now: Tina and Brian lock eyes across the crowded bar, she approaches him, “excuse me, you haven’t got a lighter have you?”, “No, but I’ve got this!”, Tina runs away screaming. So I guess you can’t knock its functionality. I’m honestly conflicted though. I don’t know whether to be impressed or appalled. Am I the problem here? Am I being overly judgemental and priggish? Is this now just a perfectly normal product of the world we live in? Does it come in camo? These are all valid questions. But sadly I have no answers for you.

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Count Dragula.

Over the last couple months, we’ve made a bit of a habit out of showcasing lockdown creativity on coolsh*t. And this has been particularly relevant over the last few weeks as we (knock on wood) slowly start to emerge from “our long national hibernation”. Cheers for that corker of a line Boris (just realised that’s also probably something he heard a lot during his Oxford days). Last week for example, we celebrated some lovely photography of a naked French fella wearing pots and pans. Which was great – but is probably something I’d be capable of doing myself, if I ever felt the urge. And if I was French. But this week, I’ve chosen something that I would definitely never be able to do. Drag artist Charity Kase has created a different lockdown look every single day – and some of them are absolutely horrifying. This has ruined Spongebob for me forever. Not because he’s now apparently gay, because he’s f*cking terrifying when human-sized and up close. Impressive nonetheless though.

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Sacha Banter Cohen.

Borat’s been at it again. Off the back of his ‘This is America’ series, Sacha Baron Cohen has targeted a new group of Americans to troll. He whacked on his best dungarees and straw hat, put on a questionable accent, and took to the stage to sing at what looks like a hoedown, but which I’ve been reliably informed is a ‘March for Our Rights 3’ rally. Obviously it’s meant to be shocking that people are so gleefully joining in with a song with such blatantly abhorrent sentiments. But with that being said – and I don’t know if this is a popular opinion – it is pretty catchy. I challenge anyone to not be compelled to join in once you get to about the 3rd time round of “Liberals, what we gonna do? Inject them with the Wuhan Flu.” And I basically completely hope no liberals at all get COVID-19, so I can see the struggle. My personal favourite line came at the end, “I hate Bill Gates, let’s turn him off, his penis is Microsoft”. Now that’s a bar Kanye would be proud of. But I’m not sure if any of this is meant to be in any way shocking? Going to a right wing freedom rally and being shocked by all the racists is like going to a bake sale and thinking “corh, sure are a lot of cakes here”. You kind of get what you expect. Regardless though; nice song, decent troll, 8/10 from me.

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Swingers Welcome.

Bit of advice: don’t watch this just after eating breakfast, because it will make you feel a bit sick. The world’s biggest swing, which flings you through the air at 80mph, has just opened for business in the Longgang National Geopark in Yunyang County, China. And it looks pretty unreal. I just like how someone has thought “wow – what beautiful, idyllic scenery”, and someone else said “yeah… let’s build a really big swing on it”. Great idea, huge improvement. And as a part-time thrill seeker and full-time moron, I’d be all over it. Besides, looks perfectly safe to me – nothing dangerous every came out of China anyway. Cue Sacha Baron Cohen and his singing rabble of right-wing rednecks…

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Women in Football: Not as You Know It.

And finally, in the most important bit of coolsh*t this week, we have just released our latest Next Gen insight report.

Women’s football isn’t going to be just the biggest women’s sport. It’s set to be a record-breaking, decade-defining sport. In its own right.

We investigated how brands can engage a new and rapidly growing audience.

Download Full Report.