Robots Make Music.

There’s probably very little chance that we’ll ever see Kanye West and Rick Astley hop on a track together. That’s just a sad fact that we must begrudgingly come to terms with. Or maybe not. OpenAI have just released thousands of AI-generated songs on their ‘Jukebox’, a neural net that creates music in a variety of genres. I really did try my best to read the explanation, but it just confused me and made me feel sad, so I gave up. But without getting too technical, here are the cliffnotes: people in white coats play millions of songs to a machine, the machine learns roughly what makes up ‘listenable’ music, some other iRobot sh*t happens, and then somehow Tupac starts playing. I must say though, I’ve been going through this for a while now and I honestly can’t work out if it’s really impressive or really pointless. We’ve been to the Moon, we have devices in our pockets that allow us to speak to people anywhere in the world, we can buy actual drones – and for some reason I’m amazed that a hyperintelligent supercomputer is able to make a song that almost sounds like Elvis. Well you can make your own minds up, but I think “Hot Tub Christmas” in the style of Frank Sinatra is destined to be a hit.

Unstoppable Force Vs. Immovable Object.

There have been many great rivalries in boxing throughout the years. Muhammad Ali Vs Joe Frazier. Mike Tyson Vs Evander Holyfield. Chris Eubank Vs the letter ‘S’. The list goes on. Well, this latest one might be the biggest yet – literally. I had assumed that ‘The Mountain’ from Game of Thrones was made to look bigger on the show through some sort of camera trickery or CGI, but it turns out he really is a 6ft9, 450lb Icelandic half-man-half-wardrobe hybrid. And he’s going to be taking on the pride of Stoke-On-Trent. No, not Robbie Williams (although I would pay good money to see that), but former World’s Strongest Man, Eddie Hall. It was announced this week that the two monsters will square off next year in what’s being touted as the “heaviest boxing match of all time”. Am I a child for thinking any of this is in any way interesting? Perhaps. Am I going to watch the hell out of it anyway? You bet.

Kate Spade x American Psycho.

I felt I had to include this particular story as it’s been haunting my nightmares since I first saw it a couple days ago and I don’t want to suffer alone anymore. Japanese DJ/Artist Shishido Mazafka has been talking to It’s Nice That about his collection of freaky accessories made to look like human flesh. My favourite part of the interview was Shishido conceding that the reasoning behind the items is “hard to explain” – you don’t say!? The designs are truly jaw-dropping though – literally jaw-dropping if you knock over one of his purses. He claims they’re made out of silicone, but I’m not so sure. If it turns out that he really is making people in to accessories and this is his way of hiding in plain sight, we’re all going to feel pretty silly. And FYI, I’ve just checked and sadly none of these products are available on Amazon Prime as of yet, so keep an eye out.

Astronutters.

I’ve made fun of both Tom Cruise and Elon Musk separately in previous editions of coolsh*t. But for the first time, thanks to a glorious collision of worlds, I can do so simultaneously in just the one story. In a small step for man and a giant leap for lunatics everywhere, Cruise and Musk are teaming up with NASA to create the first feature film shot in space. Astronauts have to be incredibly fit and Tom Cruise is 57 now, so he’ll presumably be drinking twice his regular dosage of sacrificial lamb blood to prepare for the role. While nobody has confirmed exactly what the film will be about, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that it’ll be along these lines: a task looks really difficult to do but in the end Tom Cruise’s character manages to get the job done at the last minute against all the odds – plus some people will be floating around. That right there is a film that I will most certainly be watching. Oh, and I’d also like to congratulate Musk and his ‘partner in Grimes’ on the birth of their first child, the beautiful baby boy ‘X Æ A-12’. No, I didn’t just smack my head on my keyboard, that is actually what they’ve named their son. Fair play, there’s no rules, I rate it. But I feel sorry for the teacher taking the register on his first day of school.

Realsh*t: Life in Lockdown – Ep: 6.

Are you treating yourself with a lockdown skincare regime or just yearning for an excuse to glam up again? In this week’s realsh*t, we asked our SELFHOOD network to spill the tea on their beauty and skincare habits when going out (or going out-out) IRL isn’t on the cards. ICYMI, check it out here.

#WeAreLtd.

We’re finishing off this week’s coolsh*t with a much-needed shout-out to our industry freelance friends. There are 4.5million individuals in the UK registered as Ltd companies, a lot of whom have been left pretty much high and dry with no work and no access to any of the government’s financial support. ‘#WeAreLtd’ was set up to raise awareness of the current plight of these individuals – so go like, share and comment so freelancers can join the 6.5million people in the UK getting paid to sit at home eating crisps in their underwear. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, lots of people are struggling at the moment and they’re trying to get as much attention on this post as possible, so do drop a like and help get the word out.