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Volume 278

In this week’s coolsh*t, Megg and James teach you how to make your Zoom call the GOAT and bring you some much needed lockdown replacements for cinema, sport and reality TV (sort of). Plus there’s some realsh*t at the end just in case you missed it.


2020 In Emojis.

Lots of emojis just don’t seem appropriate at the moment. In reality, ‘Surfing Guy’ is currently watching Masterchef at his parents’ house in Wiltshire and ‘Dancing Girl’ has just baked her 12th loaf of banana bread. New York Agency &Walsh recognised this and have released hundreds of emojis that better encapsulate how people are feeling. When this project began last year, the idea was just to release a set of emojis specifically for graphic designers, but these have now been expanded to include a more general set for the rest of the world working from home. What I’ve gleaned from this so far is that graphic designers love tote bags, top knots and stickers – but aren’t so keen on deadlines. I would also like to point out that 9,432 is a rookie number for an email inbox – I’m currently sitting pretty at 19,030.

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Savage By Name, Savage By Nature.


If you read that disclaimer before watching the video: you’re welcome. And if you didn’t: sorry lol. Although far from ideal, our current circumstances are allowing filmmakers to get creative with their content. This is certainly the case for Director Rob Savage, who made this short film of him terrifying his friends on a Zoom call by seemingly dying at the hands of a goblin in his loft. Personally, I’m hooked and can’t wait for the sequel ‘Paranormal Attictivity 2’.

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Severed Lower Leg 1 – 0 Taxidermy Mermaid.

I miss sport. Playing Online Scrabble simply doesn’t scratch that itch of high-level competition in quite the same way. And I’ve tried to get in to the Nicaraguan U-20 Badminton League, but it’s very hard to find a live stream. Well, in our new normal, perhaps this is the new version of sport: museums battling it out for the title of the curator with the creepiest sh*t. Yorkshire Museum threw down the gauntlet for the ‘#CURATORBATTLE’ with a 4thCentury Roman lady’s hair bun, and this sparked a sort of Royal Rumble. It was looking as if Natural Sciences NMS Museum were going to run away with it thanks to their taxidermy mermaid. But then, from out of nowhere, York Art Gallery – Yorkshire Museum’s bitter local rival – soared from the top rope to seal victory with a decapitated leg that had been modified to have 4 legs of its own and a face where somebody’s knee used to be. The crowd are on the pitch, they think it’s all over – it is now.

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Me Llamo Llama.

Let some farmyard animals spice up your life. No, this isn’t a lonely farmer’s Tinder bio – it’s how you can reinvigorate your stale Zoom calls. For anyone below the age of 90, the novelty of video calls has well and truly worn off at this point. There are only so many pub quizzes you can do. Plus I’m sure you’re sick of looking at your colleagues’ boring old faces every day. Well, now you can look at a llama’s face instead. A Californian animal sanctuary launched its “Goat 2 Meeting” to offer people the chance to have a farmyard animal join their call – all in the name of educating people on the negative impacts of industrialised farming, whilst also raising money for the sanctuary (plus you get to chat to a llama). I am completely in favour of this and think it would make a nice change to have a call with an incomprehensible, hairy-faced beast who isn’t a member of my family.

Goat 2 Meeting

KFC Vs. The World.

There aren’t many certainties in life, but one thing we can know for sure is that KFC think your chicken looks sh*t. Apparently whoever runs the KFC UK&Ireland Twitter account doubled their dosage of sassy pills this week, as they have been absolutely tearing in to people’s homemade KFC attempts. Imagine the intersection of a Venn diagram between Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell – that’s the level of ars*hole KFC are occupying as a judge. We’ve already had new versions of cinema and sport – so maybe ‘#RateMyKFC’ could be paving the way for a new wave of quarantine talent shows. Unlikely? Maybe – but I never thought I’d see the day when KFC are comparing chicken skin to a wet blue Rizla, so at this point all bets are off. So while I don’t know exactly what should happen next, I know Louis Walsh should be a part of it.

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realsh*t: life in lockdown – episode 4.

In case you missed it, we released episode 4 of our new series ‘realsh*t’ this week. We asked our SELFHOOD network how they’re adjusting to a new work life balance in lockdown town. Check it out and stay tuned for episode 5 next week.

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